Wellness: What is Self-Loathing?

Butterflies, I seriously contemplated long and hard about sharing this with you guys because I really don’t like to dwell in the negative too much but since the recent Kodak Black and Essence situation I thought this would be the perfect time to share that there are actually people out there who think like him and sadly I personally know a few. Kodak Black basically said he didn’t want to get with a dark skinned chick because he’s dark skinned and that he prefers fair skinned women over dark skinned women because fair skinned women are more “sensitive". (#redflag) I don't want you guys to think that I have a problem with his preference because I absolutely do not, what I disagree with is him degrading other women while in the process of disclosing his preference. It's kind of like that old saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'. On to my story...

So I was in the store a few weeks ago and as I’m walking out with both arms and hands full of necessities for my new place there was a lady leaving out at the same time. I’m guessing she saw that I had a ton of crap and decided to hold the door open just long enough that I could catch it with my elbow and as I always do when someone does something kind for me, I said thank you. Side note...if you know me personally you know that I’m usually a soft-spoken introvert (until I get comfortable) who tries to avoid human interaction as much as possible (lol); this is often mistaken for me being rude but I’m honestly not, I just don’t like people (lol) jk. Seriously though, if someone says hi, I say hi back and if someone holds the door for me I say thank you...no brainer right?

Anyway, so as I’m loading everything in my car, the person in the car next to me rolls down their driver side window as they’re backing up and yells out “that’s why I don’t date black women” and then quickly pulls off. Of course it was the chick that sorta/kinda held the door for me sitting on the passenger side and some ignorant degenerate with mommy issues, past due child support and an extreme case of internalize hatred and self loathing driving. I’m guessing he asked her if I said thank you (which I did) and she told him no. I remember feeling bad for the girl in that moment, that poor chick probably getting used, abused and mistreated...I mean that was definitely her car he was driving. The guy wasn’t attractive at all and neither was the chick but I mean EVERYTHING about him screamed loser.

I’ve always been and forever will be a faithful participant in the “live and let live” way of life and I truly believe everyone is entitled to their preference but I don’t agree with degrading someone else because they don’t meet your preferences. You can prefer someone and not prefer someone else and still be respectful to both people. Anyway, I hope this guy and all the guys like him find peace.